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JOSH NEUFELD PHOTOGRAPHY
JOSH NEUFELD PHOTOGRAPHY
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END OF LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY

Initially, I didn’t even bring my camera to the hospital. I was hesitant. My mother hesitated too.  My dad had also always been intensely private and I didn’t want to cross any boundaries. But we decided to bring the camera. I still can’t believe how open my dad was about this. I remember standing behind him while he trimmed his beard in front of a mirror. A simple act he refused to give up in his last days. I must have taken 100 photos. I was nervous throughout that 5 minutes. I thought at any moment he would look at me, and say “really? This moment?” He didn’t bat an eye. 

Having those images now means so much to me. His grandkids will never really get the chance to know him, but at least they’ll know he cared. He may not look like how I want to remember him in some of the photos, but at least I remember how I felt about him in those moments. They provide me with an opportunity to sit with the grief I feel in losing him, to flow with life’s ebbs and eddies, to find riches in the raw and to feel the beauty in experiencing all life has to offer. 

Since losing my dad I’ve continued to use the camera to understand and study grief. Throughout this process, families have invited me bedside during their most intimate moments to document the experience the way I did for my family. If you know someone whose family may appreciate imagery during this process, please have them contact me.

See the full series in the Documentary section of my website, under Meeting Mortality.

ENQUIRE

END OF LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY

Initially, I didn’t even bring my camera to the hospital. I was hesitant. My mother hesitated too.  My dad had also always been intensely private and I didn’t want to cross any boundaries. But we decided to bring the camera. I still can’t believe how open my dad was about this. I remember standing behind him while he trimmed his beard in front of a mirror. A simple act he refused to give up in his last days. I must have taken 100 photos. I was nervous throughout that 5 minutes. I thought at any moment he would look at me, and say “really? This moment?” He didn’t bat an eye. 

Having those images now means so much to me. His grandkids will never really get the chance to know him, but at least they’ll know he cared. He may not look like how I want to remember him in some of the photos, but at least I remember how I felt about him in those moments. They provide me with an opportunity to sit with the grief I feel in losing him, to flow with life’s ebbs and eddies, to find riches in the raw and to feel the beauty in experiencing all life has to offer. 

Since losing my dad I’ve continued to use the camera to understand and study grief. Throughout this process, families have invited me bedside during their most intimate moments to document the experience the way I did for my family. If you know someone whose family may appreciate imagery during this process, please have them contact me.

See the full series in the Documentary section of my website, under Meeting Mortality.

ENQUIRE

An introduction to

GRIEF NARRATIVES

Grief narratives is a community platform built to provide a space for people to find comfort in the shared experience of death and grief. Read and write stories, words, even poems if you’d like for and from people all over the world suffering from grief. The reality is, death deals each of us our own unique experience, yet grips us all and gives absolute shared fate as a universal truth. It’s something we share, a fate we all feel together. By providing a space to share stories and grief narratives, we hope to provide comfort in communion, solace in suffering, and richness in the raw. Know that though you are walking your grief story individually, you are not walking it alone.

VISIT THE GRIEF NARRATIVES WEBSITE

An introduction to

GRIEF NARRATIVES

Grief narratives is a community platform built to provide a space for people to find comfort in the shared experience of death and grief. Read and write stories, words, even poems if you’d like for and from people all over the world suffering from grief. The reality is, death deals each of us our own unique experience, yet grips us all and gives absolute shared fate as a universal truth. It’s something we share, a fate we all feel together. By providing a space to share stories and grief narratives, we hope to provide comfort in communion, solace in suffering, and richness in the raw. Know that though you are walking your grief story individually, you are not walking it alone.

VISIT THE GRIEF NARRATIVES WEBSITE
“I feel like it’s a laying on the floor kind o “I feel like it’s a laying on the floor kind of night. I don’t know why exactly, nothing big happened, nothing significant. Just the same old grief I’ve had for over two and a half years now. Ehhhhhhhhhhhh let’s go lay on the floor.” A story about grief and the floor from Jennifer. Link in bio
“Losing grandparents is generally a natural occu “Losing grandparents is generally a natural occurrence, but when they are taken from you suddenly, at the same time, and with violence, there is nothing natural about it. I lost my grandparents in March 2017 to a home invasion gone wrong.” A heart breaking yet hopeful story from @casieraec over the holidays.
“I didn’t tell him how I felt throughout the w “I didn’t tell him how I felt throughout the whole time of his decline. Not once did I open up and breakdown in-front of him, telling him that it tore me apart inside these last months as his body broke down right in front of his own eyes.” @tallpaulslife on the loss of his father
I’m sorry, that day on the turnpike I let you pa I’m sorry, that day on the turnpike I let you pass me. I had just hydroplaned myself and slowed down. I know everyone was in a hurry to beat the ice and snow. You were probably missing your family since you were driving alone.” Raw and poignant grief narrative from Drake.
“I find myself thinking about rememberance day, “I find myself thinking about rememberance day, rather what it used to mean to me. I would stand up in silence, listening to the trumpet soar through the loudspeakers of any given school. Thinking about the men and women who fought for our country, not fully grasping the horrors they suffered. The idea of “horror” became a variable. What then would make one shake and wince at the beck and call of ones own shredded nerve endings?” A timely grief narrative from Alex.
“Death has taught me how to hold two seemingly o “Death has taught me how to hold two seemingly opposite concepts at once. I am tortured by feelings of guilt, regret, anger, and despair that their deaths have inspired. At the same time, I relish in happy and funny memories of them and share stories about their lives with friends and family. I mourn the loss of my pregnancy and I fondly imagine our future children. I have learned that these thoughts and feelings are not mutually exclusive; they don't cancel each other out.”
Josh Neufeld is a professional photographer
based out of Vancouver, Canada.
[email protected]

@joshneufeldphoto
@thisiswhywelivehere
@griefnarratives

© 2020 Josh Neufeld
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